Last week my friend Robert reminded me that we can't do the opening hymn during Lent, because it has the liturgical "A" word (A@#$%uia) in it. So the pressure was on to create a new one.
Here it is, sung to the tune of "Rock of Ages":
Rock of Ages, clean for me,
Cheer and Tide I give to Thee;
Let the water and the suds,
Clean my grass stains, dirt and blood,
Give my laundry double cure;
Save from wrath and make it pure.
Not the labor of my hands
Can fulfill my laundry's demands;
Could my shirts no respite know,
Clean my undies white as snow,
Tighty whities, Bali bras;
Lingerie, you save them all.
Dryer sheets my hands now bring,
To prevent the static cling;
Naked, 'cuz my clothes are spent;
If they weren't soiled, my clothes I'd rend;
Loads of laundry, by and by;
Wash them, Savior, or I die.
While I spend my Saturday,
Laundering my life away,
Watching ball games on TV,
Facebook friends, they comfort me,
Rock of Ages, clean for me,
Cheer and Tide I give to Thee.